Clik here to view.
Mysterious Ways
I could never have imagined that my parents would not meet my son. It didn’t once enter my thought process when I dreamed about having a family. In my mind, two sets of grandparents were always part of...
View ArticleClik here to view.
A Woman I Didn’t Know
I had a good mother but she and I did not have the type of relationship that I would have liked. We didn’t share intimate secrets or inside jokes. She wasn’t the first person I would think of to call...
View ArticleClik here to view.
At Ease
We held hands the entire drive home from the therapist’s office. Relief. A decision had been reached. The words spoken out loud. Later would come the tears. And questions. So many questions. Some...
View ArticleTell Her
Tell her it has been far too long since we’ve seen her beautiful face or heard her deep laughter. Make sure she knows we miss her. Tell her we hear her; every single tear and every single plea and we...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Heartbeat
I am 10 minutes early. After signing my name on the first available line, I sit and wait. Deliberately I thumb through magazines, one after the other as families of four smile up at me from the glossy...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Hole In My Heart
October used to mean feeling Fall in the air and spying Halloween merchandise on every aisle at the supermarket and being greeted by big shinny round pumpkins with glowing smiles on my neighbors front...
View ArticleDeath
People don’t like to discuss death. In many circles, the topic of death and dying is one of those taboo subjects, right up there with religion and politics, however, when it comes to death, there is no...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Things They Can’t Say
I share a lot here but not everything and sometimes there is a post that is better suited for somewhere else. It’s too raw and personal. The last month of my life has been an emotional roller coaster...
View ArticleClik here to view.
My Body
My body is strong. My body carries me and my body lets me down. My limbs contort and stretch, pushing, pulling, reaching, carrying, holding. I sit cross-legged along side my energetic little boy and...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Five Hearts
I know I’ll never forget. How could I? And yet, I still felt a burning need to do something or rather have something to remind me and to acknowledge where we’ve been. Something to commemorate the tears...
View ArticleThe Bad Stuff Can Wait
He doesn’t know about the Holocaust, 9/11, Columbine, Waco, explosions in Boston or West. He believes guns are only for shooting the bad guys, although he doesn’t really understand the concept of “bad...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Hold On My Heart
Hold on my heart We can do this. There have been high expectations. We have fought the good fight. Repeatedly. We’ve lost. Repeatedly. Just hold on to that feeling You have been cracked wide open,...
View ArticleClik here to view.
I Was Attacked
It’s strange how with age, memories of my youth come back to me in waves. Vivid memories, snippets of conversations I had dozens of years ago and events down to the detail replay in my mind. Both good...
View ArticleConversations About Kindergarten
It’s already starting. I can physically feel him slowly pulling away from me, needing me less and less. I knew it would happen. Not at five, but eventually. Lucas, what are you looking forward to about...
View ArticleFrozen: Six Options
My six-year-old son doesn’t remember hanging out with me for countless hours in our fertility doctor’s waiting room. Much more patient than I ever was, I might add. He doesn’t recall the separate, much...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Warts & Body Image – NaBloPoBo
My son has warts. They are located in four of the nail beds of his fingers and other various places on his hands, sprinkled across the bridge of his nose, above his top lip and along one side of his...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Facts Of Life
I haven’t blogged all year. There have been 100 days in 2016 and I haven’t posted a single thing. Until today. I write to process and over the last two weeks there has just been too much. So today I...
View Article
